“I don’t play golf and I don’t have a mistress.”

I hope he used neatsfoot oil and not some bullshit like linseed oil.

Is it easier at this point to just list the people Aaron Hernandez hasn’t murdered?

If he doesn’t clean up his act soon, he’s flirting with a multi-game suspension.

Maybe I need to rethink my feelings on vigilante justice.

Exactly what his hookers exclaim when getting boned by this blobfish theocratic dick whistle.

Imagine how disgusted all of his hookers must get when he’s rutting around on top of them. The stench of throat nuggets coated on Campbell’s cream of shit soup surely deserves an extra c-note, right?

Letting loose virginity is something the Palins do.

Lose. “Lose” rhymes with “booze.” “Loose” rhymes with “goose.”

I don’t understand how these people have any friends or family left. If anyone I knew went so far as this guy, I would cut them out of my life, including my own mother.

OK there Ray Kinsella.

Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

Shoeless Joe should absolutely be in the HOF, the fact that he was banned in the first place is a travesty. The man batted .375 in that series, yeah that’s really taking a dive....Such bullshit.

So should Pete Rose and Joe Jackson

Yes, he absolutely should be enshrined, but at the same time, it is so fucking funny that he isn’t. Knowing he’s on twitter searching for “Curt Schilling HOF” getting angry at people who say they wouldn’t vote for him. It’s the little things that make me happy.

“make our program great again.”

Holy fuck that is fitting.

I don’t know what I’d do without the commentariat here. It’s nice to be reminded that there are at least some sane people out there!

Well, the joke’s on them, because I’m going to start wishing everyone Feliz Navidad.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it’s cold as hell. And there’s no one there to raise them. If you did.

Do they know they don’t have to do this?