Truth is, his wrestling achievements aside, the guy will best be remembered for the line “I have come to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I’m all outta bubblegum.”

Which part of “NO PEPPER” did he not understand?

That's textbook: Label up, follow through, right on the sweet spot.

“No, Manfred, you’re supposed to give the bat to the other fish.”

If you don’t hate the Cardinals, maybe you’re the one who needs to see a doctor. Just not natural.

As a liberal, I can confirm that our favorite activity (besides buying lobster with food stamps and having abortions) is child molestation. My family has a reunion every year just to make sure we all get a shot.

The most impressive part was watching Christie turn a 42-54-62 double play.

and some people, like 28-year-old Tennessee resident Anna Thomas,do thirteen cans of whip-its at 9 am and crash into a mailbox

This is incredibly well written and well thought out. I’m sorry that your name pops up with such a terrible association, that must hurt but seriously great job on this piece.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Yeah. People are fascinated by you, but not for the reasons you think.

k

I bet they punched him the right way.

"dick fright"

The show is almost too good for Comedy Central considering their track record for shows (especially sketch-comedy-style series).

Self important and stupid is a bad combination. Unless, of course, your real job description is to soak up all the incoming flak your business draws so the owners can go on being slimy in the background.

This is the face of a man who spends many, many hours masturbating furiously to the language in House Bill 365, and who has a lovely collection of Lulumon catalogues stashed away somewhere.