I know they aren’t. I made a special note.

I went through a phase of writing off everyone called ‘Lauren’ or ‘Laura’ for being awful so 10/10 casting would watch.

‘George Zimmerman Continues to be the Actual Worst’

You get one famous body part. Stick with the lips.

This is because stupid tourists don’t know how to drive.

I briefly panicked. I really need Behind Closed Ovens in my life.

Yes. Like I don’t even know who the audience for this is. Are they trolling us?

Well that’s intensely weird.

Well the nicest thing my mother ever said was ‘I think you would look good in a band.’

Yeah I just came here to say how much I hate that dress on her.

Queen licks it and then asks if you still want it back.

Why is this nice customer week? I’m not sure I’m in the mood for nice customer week. Although I did used to have one guy who came in every day, he couldn’t read and he was pretty lonely so I would chat to him and read him the menus and stuff if it wasn’t busy. Anyway we were talking and it turned out our borthdays…

I don’t know what there other Christmas ones were like or if they were better or worse but I don’t really care for the design. The red is kind of the wrong red to go with Starbucks green and the logo is weirdly placed on the largest cup. To me. Like I don’t like them but I also don’t think they are an attack on…

Those cups are ugly though.

Even if she had been famous I would not have noticed.

I needed this tonight. And now I will favour you all with the tale of ‘my mother’s got cancer lady’.

I used to work at a theme park where they managed to accidentally rehire a guy who got fired for sexually assaulting a 13 year old girl.

I aspire to that level of chillness

Well that neatly combines two of my fears, losing teeth and commitment. Am I sleeping right now? Is this a nightmare I am having.

My dad’s relatives always mock me because I don’t do hugs but my brother gets away with a handshake no problem grr