You don’t really need a food processor to make anything. Before about 1900 electricity in homes was uncommon, and there certainly were no food processors. Cooking was much more labor intensive in general, and everything must have come out looking a lot more “rustic”, but I can’t think of anything we would normally eat…

It’s very “Soylent Green.”

I was thinking more recent, like Suze wants us to be the Geena Davis character and we can all drive off the cliff together.

I think it was SNL Weekend Update that showed the Bushes’ wedding photo, they looked like nice, attractive, wealthy 20-somethings, and then a current photo (1988) when Babs looked like she was George’s mother. “Look at what he did to his wife. Imagine what he’ll do to the country.”

The photo looks like it’s a still of the party scene from any number of MGM Technicolor musical comedies. Is Barbara Bush talking to Noel Coward?

She even captures the Queen’s stoic expression of feigned interest. “Yes, I’m standing in front a card shoppe in a town centre in the Midlands making idle chit chat with a salesgirl and there is nowhere else I would rather be.”

Are you wearing Nobel medals? So good.

You should follow up your pet parenting comment with, “I have six [cats/dogs, you pick] and I’m fostering four more at the moment. Would you like to see some pictures and hear some funny stories?”

Or how about, “Mel, it says here in the contract they’ve drawn up that you have to go to Cleveland and speak to thousands of strangers if so directed. That’s weird. I’ll strike it out.”

That old trick. Maybe that’s why Ramona Singer sticks to pinot grigio.

Isn’t Littleton actually very conservative? I was surprised to learn that Littleton had an animal refuge, let alone a swingers’ ranch, and of course having 2-in-1...If I’m remembering the story correctly the place has a bar area (it has lots of areas) and from there the squirrels and the patrons can watch each other,…

I’ve taken a Michelob Challenge or two in my life but it involved a beer bong and keg stands.

Have you ever checked out “Der Struwwelpeter” (“Shockheaded Peter”)? No one does scary fairy tales like the Germans.

You would think that the universe would be the name for all this space that there is no end to. There is a new theory, supported by many of the world’s most respected astrophysicists, that there are probably additional universes. I read that fairly recently and can’t stop thinking about it.

When I was growing up (three networks + PBS era, TV sitting on the floor the size of a sofa, “state of the art” antenna perfectly positioned just so) one of the independent stations used to run “Twilight Zone” and “Outer Limits” reruns on Saturday afternoons. Perfect children’s programming. My father was a big fan and…

More Amy Sedaris in “Strangers With Candy” but that’s just me.

Not the Rachel Dolezal we want already suffered through, but the one we deserve.

The Dog House is the best. Did you know “The Birds” was filmed in Bodega Bay? Every time I see the movie I imagine that 50 years ago The Dog House had gas pumps outside and Tippi Hedren had just stopped in for a quick bite (and the all you can eat fries) when all hell broke loose.

+1 for the Carl Hiassen-quality Everglades story. Sounds like a human turd is pretty benign compared to lots of other things that could have landed on your arm in the Everglades.

Put a bird on it! Or put something on the bird, depending on your circumstances.