I love that movie!

Who knows what Alex Jones has him doing to earn that paycheck.

For the record, I’m referring to carnivoran mammals of the family Ursidae, not big hairy gay dudes.

I refuse to watch 45 seconds of Milo Yiannopoulos doing anything except being mauled by a bear.

I put a lot of effort into that.

No problem! I’m kind of amazed someone could forget Fergie’s masterful performance in said movie. She transcends the “getting eaten by zombies”  class of acting.

Still doesn’t make up for him “normalizing” Trump, which is totally a real thing that he has the power to do.

Someone add Oprah’s bees to this gif.

Apparently you’ve never seen Planet Terror.

“I know what you’re thinking: “Did he fire six farts or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being this is a 44" Buttock, the most powerful ass in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’…

Farts don’t kill people. People kill people.

Fart softly, and carry some spare undies.

You can have my fart when you can pry it from my cold, dead anus.

According to the classic lawsuit of “Smell’t it v. Dealt It” the farter is responsible

Sir Billy Snedden, an Australian politician, died “at the peak of physical congress,” as the police put it. Nearly 20 years later, his son was involved with the same woman, and made sure to notify the public that his father assuredly died happy, saying, “Anyone would be proud to die on the job.”

Thanks for the heads up. That’s what I get for believing what I read in #lamestreammedia Newsweek!

It doesn’t really change your article, but they were at the McConnell Center at the University of Louisville, not the University of KY

What do you mean, “not found in nature?”

inconvenience to the public around you be damned

It sounds like Christian Charles got some bad advice from his lawyer: