If you spend too much time Stalin against Russia, they will go ahead and take the ball for an easy Putin.

The last time I can remember when black people were recruited en masse for new job opportunities, it didn’t go so well.

Sticking it to the Jets is more of a Sharks thing though.

Ah, there’s your problem, someone set these cars to evil

I imagine the audio alarms are just there so people don’t freak out and say “I don’t want my car taking over for me!” The reality is those alarms are probably a fraction of a second before the brakes are applied.

Yes, Velma is a babe. Daphne can hit the bricks with her drama.

Tell them that a giant slug captured me and forced me to wear that stupid outfit, and then I killed him because I didn’t like it. And then I took it off.

I love the Jets.

To be fair, being a sure handed tackler is a job requirement for being a Jets quarterback.

Notre Dame players think that they can simply apoligize during the last minute of the game all their personal fouls will magically disappear.

*shrug*

Tim Tebow’s agent: “Football, Baseball, Hockey...He’s a Triple Threat!”

I’m willing to bet Bill Belichick’s secretary is getting sick and tired of Tim Tebow’s agent calling every ten fucking minutes. “No sorry, Bill is still at lunch.”

And I would walk five hundred miles,

If your inner asshole is outside, you should probably see a doctor.

We’re all just concerned!

Something about this story doesn’t smell right. I mean, Lochte is no whiz kid, but how is “they were asked to use the bathroom” where this story starts? Something pissed off either the gas station or the swimmers before that. And then why leak the robbery story? Did someone text them “ur in trouble” and they did that…

Question. Will the apple car have windows?

I’ve always had excellent luck with these...

This reminds me of the plot of Rainbow Six where eco terrorists planned to release a deadly disease strain at the Sydney Olympics for just that purpose.

Hope is what fuels the Plan, but whatever the Thing is, you must have a Plan. Plans can be amended as necessary but, to put it another way, you can’t course-correct if you have no course.