How do they handle the moose test?

Showmanship!

Because some people actually use it as a truck

I will let Jerry explain how I live my life

Haven’t been in like 6 months. But you know how it is. Death, taxes, & chipotle—can’t avoid them forever

Aurora CO

I feel like a McLaren always looks better with a skateboard in its dumb face

And if you order anything a slightly bit unorthodox she adds all kinds of upcharges that I’m reasonably certain are entirely made up

Well I know the manager at my local chipotle certainly does all she can to make the experience hellish not only for her employees but her customers as well.

*Parker Posey sold separately

Not bragging or anything but we all had pools (that were really just livestock water tanks)

all the ‘pools’ we had were just horse tanks. but they were the best

When I stand on a cliff I get a powerful urge to jump off.

My parents used to buy us giant tractor tire inner tubes to use as a sort of We’re-from-western-KS-&-we-don’t-know-any-better-trampoline.

it’s Thursday?!

My first very own beer bought and paid for in a bar—Bourbon Street New Orleans March 1988

There is no ‘would’ or ‘should’ to an athletic contest. There is only ‘could.’

As a class of people, athletes have some of the most perverse ideas about what ‘deserve’ means.

We’ll drink to wives and sweethearts. May they never meet!

It was a compliment!