He mostly does “Black kids these days with their expensive hats and their sagging pants lack respectability” type material nowadays.

“He’s simply a rapper who was of shooting Megan Thee Stallion in the foot. That’s it. He’s not unique.”

Someone stop that monster Diane Keaton, she’s threatening the world’s reserve of endangered turtlenecks and giant kitchen islands!

So I gotta ask a control question here, because of my girlfriend. She thinks anything with any coconut flavor but not visible coconut tastes like sunscreen, automatically. Every time we order cocktails if there’s even a hint of like actual coconut cream in there or something it’s immediately “You can have mine, it…

Note that not one of them said they’d ban crime.

I’d vote for any ban that includes that Ryan Reynolds/Will Ferrell whatever Spirited ad I see everywhere.  What the fuck is it?  Am I supposed to just think it’s about two guys that might run?  I mean I assume it’s another Christmas war of the dads movie like Deck the Halls or Jingle All The Way, but seriously, it’s…

Eventually one of the Final Fight games has a playable cop, her name is Lucia.

I basically always figured his response to the poll would be “You win, I’ll step down. In 20 years when I retire, bitches!” or some such pedantic kid shit. And hey, whattaya know.

Why, did he stop liking feet and inserting feet shots into his movies? Not the kids fault you got old.

It’s not. People have been testing it. It’s in the list but you can link to your truth social or parler accounts just fine.

I genuinely don’t think they should get their next host by just shaking the Big Fat Quiz and seeing who falls out this time, the show desperately needs a shot of younger energy.  Get a Derry Girl or something.

Yeah, I’ve practically stopped watching the showstoppers, they’re always just “Build an ugly tower of inedible looking gingerbread that represents a childhood memory” and I don’t care.  I want to see something that looks delicious, not something that looks like a high school play’s set budget went awry.

I would have just thought it was because his only joke was extremely bad impressions that didn’t make any sense.

She should jump on it now, become the face of filling your britches. All “Hi, I’m Sharon Osbourne. Every year thousands of celebrities get high and pack a hot lunch in their underpants. Won’t you help?”

I just hope it ends with the KT extinction event, since setting it any other number of millions of years in the past wouldn’t have had the opportunity.

Either New York, New York, or Who’s That Knocking At My Door.

I genuinely don’t care between the two, but waiters get so scared when they have to ask that I can’t help but imagine the sort of asshole that makes that a problem, so I’ve started defaulting to “And a diet whichever.”  What sucks is that about 40% of the time it doesn’t work, they say “I’m sorry what?” and I have to…

The Senate Map of 2024 for Democrats is absolutely fucking brutal.  She’s eventually just doing what she can to take even these two usable years away from everyone.

It was about time, we had had three years to figure out if “do a vague dumb voice out of the side of your mouth” was ever going to get funny, and it never did.

But it got a thirty minute standing ovation or whatever the fuck insane shit they do at those film festivals these days!