I don’t have a problem, that’s my problem! You’re too cool, dad, and it makes me sick! Just do whatever, dad, I’m outta heeeeeeere.

Myopic Dude Thinks Things That Are Common Knowledge in His Subreddit Are Common Knowledge Everywhere, news at 11:01. 

I’ve had it happen so many times that I do well when I first start a hard section, then screw it up and start overthinking my next tries, and can’t even get back to where I got the first time.

“Misguided Hero Cop,” starring Bruce Willis, coming to a theater near you! Based on a true story!*·

I overheard a story from a guy complaining that he had complimented a woman’s shoes, and she sarcastically replied, “Oh my God, I need you to fuck me right now.” He was perplexed and a bit hurt. 

Brown is more liberal than McCaskill, and Missouri is more conservative than Ohio, but I think the biggest difference is that Brown ran with his team and McCaskill ran against hers. As the country gets more partisan, politicians who say “vote for me in spite of my party” are going to lose almost every time. Alabama is…

Weirdly enough, nobody is saying that.

Sorry, he was INCREDIBLY successful in obstructing. That’s why Mueller wasn’t able to prove the Russian conspiracy. That’s exactly why you indict for obstruction even if you can’t prove the underlying crime. Obstruction prevents you from proving the underlying crime!

I'm 43 and I look similar to this diaperleak. But that's because I've been drinking and smoking nonstop since his dotard daddy was elected.

They don’t respond to that. Try something else.

Stephen Miller has this dumb fantasy that he's one of the "good Jews," and once he's done unleashing all the fascism, the fascists won't turn on him. Stephen Miller's family has been wanting to have a word with him for a long time. There are no good Jews in the minds of Trump's base. Nazis is more accurate.

Gwendoline Christie was treated poorly by both the last season of GoT (pining for Jaime) and both Star Wars episodes that she was in (especially The Force Awakens, where she is the ultimate badass who completely gives up her team without a fight). It’s like they want to cast her in some good role but have to humiliate…

I was going to try to defend the author since big-tent Marvel movies can seem kind of silly in the face of open fascism and global warming disaster, but then you reminded me that this site is constantly reporting on Real Housewives and celebrity gossip.

It’s the “Staten Island Surcharge” that really gets you in the pocketbook.

Trump has forgotten how to keep the quiet parts quiet. He’s already suffering from dementia and can’t suppress even his basest impulses.

You really amplified Miller’s comments here. I know it’s not what you intended, but the vast majority of this article is unedited quotation of him or posting his monologues, with the occasional “This is obviously bad” thrown in.

Joke Line has been an asshole for a long time. 

“PolicalKathy” should be “PoliticalKathy.” Little typo but kind of got me discombobulated for a second. 

In my experience, enough people will typically jump on the first offer that you can’t stand there demanding the sky.

America can, should, must, and will blow up the moon.