His shortness of breath gives “Read my lips” a whole new meaning.

Release them at the Inauguration!

I want to smell like enchanted femme lesbianism.

She’d be better off learing how to field strip an M4.

We’ve always been at war with the birds of Eastasia.

I see several messages on this topic that proclaim their authors cannot comprehend how we got here, how is this real life, how has this happened?

Nobody’s celebrating. I just pointed out that this is the first actual time that black people were depicted on any type of currency issued in America.

You’re awesome.

Black people have been on American money long before this. If anyone trys to pay you with one of these, I suggest you take it.

It is indeed amazing that in this day and age, at zenith of human achievement, you are allowed to write articles such as this.

Right after the last show, Jack Nicholson and Otis Young will escort the killer whale to the Naval prison at Portsmouth.

Pentatonix escaped from a never-released episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I’m a woman now, so everything else is gravy.

Nobody should force doctors to provide transition care to transgender people if that is not the medicine they wish to practice. Believe me when I say that no transgender person wants to be treated by a doctor who does not share their values on the matter, so this mutual exclusion works out for both sides.

North Carolina is the brightest star in the firmament of the Confederacy.

The phone isn’t ringing.

There’s more truth to this than you realize. People where I live were bragging to neighbors several blocks away (we have one next door! she’s amazing!).

I’ll join your squad, Taylor. Surely you have room for an older transgender woman? I want to play with the cats and eat snickerdoodles. You can cancel all your appearances in North Carolina. Fun!

Republicans in Wisconsin are the problem with whiteness.

It works at Ikea.