HE LOOKS SO YOUNG

but but but RAIN TAX! Seriously, the Republicans won in Maryland because people get all in a tizzy when you mention rain taxes, which is not a tax and is not about rain. It fucking sucks.

Considering their breakfast sandwiches taste like apathy given form, I wish them good luck with that.

Bonus points for using "rake," "deign," and "callow" all in the same paragraph, Pinkham. Even more bonus points for spelling "deign" correctly. It's a good day for word nerds around these parts.

Man, first Mallory Ortberg's book comes out, and now this!? This is real, right, cause if it's not I'm going to be staggeringly disappointed.

Another Russian also saved the world from nuclear annihilation. Stanislav Petrov was the Soviet commander in charge of the USSR's early warning system in 1983. Due to an anomaly involving the sun and the missile-detecting satellites all being in a unique position, the system detected five incoming American missiles.…

It was in a Friends episode and went kind of viral, before going viral was a thing.
It's based on the notion that ammonia disables certain jellyfish species' stinging cells, but there's a few things wrong here.
1) There is no ammonia in pee unless you leave it for days and process the hell out of it
2) Ammonia doesn't…

R Kelly could open a salon

where can i preorder this

Maybe you mean "Resurrected Characters from Studios we Fired all of the Staff from after Milking their TITLES dry"

I would like to see a Westwood and Bullfrog moba.

Contigo Autoseal, hands down.

Lots of people at the office I used to work (engineering/construction firm) at had these. A coworker got me one for Christmas and I officially became a member of the cult for these things.

They're indestructible, mine has survived lots of drops and knocks from roof of a car onto gravel. …

Contigo Autoseal, hands down.

Lots of people at the office I used to work (engineering/construction firm) at had…

For some reason I too am OK with wedding proposal photos. It's weird as I'm the "JUST GO TO THE COURTHOUSE! 50$ AND YOU'RE MARRIED!" kinda person.

I don't know if I'm just really PMSing and over emotional right now but for someone who had held the "i don't want to get married" stance for a long time, I sure as hell really want someone to propose to me. I feel very confused. Send chocolate.

I hate to white knight Madge, but, having been through a similar situation, sometimes you just have to stop trying to fix someone's life. That doesn't mean you stop caring.

Is "enchanted evenings • event ends in change" a reference to losing your virginity on prom night?

Yeah by "we" Erin means "I"

i can lead people on a walking tour of boston just on places i've peed.