I will forever treasure Preserve's prose due to the glory that was "backyard-cum-feasting-hall."

what is this

Literal dickhead.

This is absolutely brilliant.

No. Enough with the goddamn macarons. Literally everything on my Instagram is macarons and you know what, THEY'RE NOT EVEN THAT GOOD OK. There are far, far superior cookies with which waif-ish fashion bloggers and large-hatted music superstars could be obsessed.

Have you seen what passes for entertainment in that country? Or the rest of the world?

pretty sure all family feud surveyors are middle aged white men

I think it's okay to have a preference for dicks that are not small and further I don't really give a rat's what your penis thinks about small boobs or the fact that this was posted on Jez and there is no counterpart about gaping vaginas. Women are told by everyone and their mother both directly and indirectly that…

There's a sick, horrible picture of a murdered cat below. This is the first time I've seen one of these pics and I don't know how to flag it. I don't want to go near it again to try and figure it out. Just be careful.

The cat torture guy is back and posting as 'b'

Tits outrageous.

i hope they get an INSANE amount of community service. like, insane.

I am evil for laughing out loud when I read this. My apologies to your cat.

This is slightly off-topic, but am I the only who thinks scented candles are gross? They smell weird, make me sneeze, and I'm terrified of something catching on fire (thanks for that phobia MOM). I do not relate to the original ranter at all. Peach Bellini sounds vile. What was she actually looking for?

this shit is fucking bullshit.

I post them every Monday at 11:30 AM sharp on Kitchenette. They get shared to the mainpage whenever there's space, but you can always count on them being there on Kitchenette at that time. :-)

Can someone register SandwichSecrets.com or something and start listing benign information about Jimmy John's?