I think this guy doesn't understand the purpose of the Rooms/Shares section.

I will do whatever it takes to curl her toes creatively, spiritually, intellectually and sexually.

You had me until "rollerblading".

"I have an educational blog" has to be a close second to "I sell monogrammed thermoses," right?

He wants to cuddle with you while you're still moist from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. **shudder**

I loathed this guy from the start, but for a while there I was wishing him the best. Like, he doesn't seem evil, no skin off my ass if he finds some equally annoying Christian hippie to be spiritual with. But I changed my mind once he started talking about looking for a muse. Fuck him, I hope he has to play out D/s…

so where does his muse sleep? oh right, she just recharges in a corner chair.

I can't lie: I checked out as soon as I hit the word "cuddle" in the first bullet point. "Cuddle" is the "moist" of relationship words. *cringes*

Oh, 113 Eat Ass Road? No, 113 West Eat Ass Road.

There is actually a hole in the back of the fanny pack he slips his penis through, so if you unzip it all you see is dick.

I am not buying normcore accessories from the undeclared third Olsen twin. That is just not a thing that is going to happen.

There's a fanny pack in that shot? (Sinks to fainting couch.)

JUST IN TIME FOR COACHELLA! *gag*

Also note that the first letter of every paragraph spells out KIRBY DELAUTER. Genius.

I've never been so proud of my home town. Well parts of it at least.

No no no :) She is a teacher. And totally pro-science/medicine/etc. That's what prompted the placenta/lactation discussion, actually.

My wife and I are trying to have a baby. I'll be carrying the little gremlin (we're lesbians YAY) and she is planning on breastfeeding (with me). There are some hippie herbs you can take to make the boob juice happen, apparently. Anyway, she tells me the other night that not only does she think I should eat the…