Followed by "No, Lower Than That" in smaller text underneath.

It is 2015. Can we abolish the phrase "gal pal" already?

So ladies? Who's it gonna be?

I am excite.

When my wife was preggo with our first child, her midwife suggested that she eat the placenta and my wife just started laughing. The midwife was like WHAT? IT HAS NUTRIENTS and my wife was like BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOPE YOU EAT IT

Between getting gay marriage today and this story having happened elsewhere, Florida is basically experiencing a cultural renaissance.

I'm wiping actual tears from my eyes. Hands down funniest headline and photo of the year. 6 days in and all, but still.

I stand corrected.

There is no facepalm gif facepalmy enough.

At least the Duggar family has a healthy proportion of women in it.

For real. HIPAA orientation at hospitals is basically admin staff in black robes holding candles chanting in Latin about absolute silence. This is mindblowing.

Between this and the lemon cake article I am like SO HUNGRY right now.

I'm sorry. I keep trying to read this article but I just can't get past DEM CHEEKS.

This entire story takes place in the pouring rain, I assume? Down to the typing of the email?

"Hey girl, let me take you out for a sexy candlelit dinner paid for by my dad, and after we can ride home in my dad's Audi to what is technically my dad's apartment..." Yeah no.

The Lemon Cake Male Objectification Experiment, a/k/a The Male Glaze.

It's the effects of the sub zero weather.

That part should be in 4D, like with the little water sprayers spritzing you from the seat in front of you when the splattering happens.

Those are just vicious rumors.

glorious, face-consuming, slightly nauseating for those of us with sensitive stomachs IMAX