Bring me that chonk.

Wow! How cheerful and pretty!

I’m going to get my first tattoo in January and I’m so excited.

I am beyond sorry. That is an unimaginable amount of tragedy. We don’t know each other, but you are absolutely in my thoughts.

I love American Dad.

Twenty-two-year old me is outraged about your slander of Smirnoff Ice.

That's what you got from this?

Ah, that makes sense. 

Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

Any time I get to think about Jeb!'s, "Please clap," I am happy. Bless you, kind person.

She was nominated for an Oscar?!?

Using a word based on “retard” intended to insult someone is pretty gross. I knew that by elementary school. I assume you’re older than that.

That’s definitely my Red Line look.

I am ded.

Um... What?

Unnecessarily vivid, damn you.

It’s really hard to keep track of this lovely cast of characters.

I’m writhing in ecstasy at the thought.

Rudeness is the worst imaginable sin, dontcha know.

I am agog. Like, just wut?