I support this. I don’t want my husband’s crap near my things.

Yeah, my husband likes to complain that he was really uncomfortable sleeping on the pull-out couch in my room after my emergency c-section. I feel for the guy.

Arthur Paul Jr. SAYS his portrait is of Douglas Fairbanks, but clearly he is a time traveling Terminator, who created a portrait of one of his kind.

You are singing the song of my people. I was in Target today looking for Thanksgiving (or, fuck, at least FALL-THEMED) decorations and shit for the upcoming holiday. I was specifically looking for fancy hand-towels for my guest bath, in case The Game wants to swing by and take some selfies.

I used to work at a place with a huge bank of vending machines, and they had change machines that dispensed them. One guy called them “gold doubloons.”

This is how the government needs to promote the use of dollar coins — pirate treasure!

It's Louisiana. You ask them, "Did my momma and your momma go to school together?" And when they blink and say no, you stick them to the back of the line. If they blink and say yes or give some indication that they are local, you smile, tell them you'll tell your momma you saw them, and know it's an effective threat…

I just wanted to give a shout-out to Jerry Barns. Not for the giving $2 bills as change, which was indeed nicely done. But for this little detail:

That makes me think of the Spanish Inquisition. “Our chief weapon is surprise. Suprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Two. Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope . . . . *Amongst* our weaponry are fear, surprise, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red…

And 9 times in 10 that “one quick question” turns into a whole big thing once they get their foot in the door.

I love you.

Tell us more about your bacon fantasies.

Yet a huge amount of people in this country will tell you that if you’re not getting ahead in life, then it’s because you’re just not working hard enough. The entire republican party screams if people go on welfare, but they tantrum equally loudly if any of the industries they champion have to pay you the wages you’re…

Honestly, you’d think they’d find a less pushy way to find a husband.

I get the impulse to be inclusive (and correct me if I’m wrong) but.. don’t these clubs exist to make business connections?

The fact that the guy was promptly arrested, handcuffed, is a redeeming feature of that story.

Yeah, remember though, there are portions of Oregon that are a solid day’s drive from another state. That means some of the farther strung hillbillies never leave the state.

God, yes. One of the women was in her first trimester at a bachelorette weekend I attended in Vegas. Poor thing had to leave a club with me to put my drunk ass to bed.