Precursor to

One of the hottest men I have ever known was one of the most boring people ever. He added nothing to the conversation. It was like God put all his work into constructing a gorgeous Greek God of a man and then was like “Welp, that’s all the time I have for this one!”

I was almost sad about it, too. Then I saw her call her gun a “toy” and now I figure: play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Or she blames the shameless hussies throwing themselves at her husband. They’re the bad ones, not him.

A night with Mariah would go one of two ways:

This goes so far beyond the anti-vaxx movement. It's one thing not to vaccinate your child. It's another thing not to take him to the hospital when HE IS DYING. Anti-vaxxers are obtuse. These people are murderers.

My meningitis always feels better afeter some thousand island and a crouton.

That baby leopard is facepalming these people.

Every time a member at my church goes in for surgery or a medical treatment, the first thing we do is pray for the hands of the doctor, nurses and medical staff. Miracles are worked through their hands, denying the miraculousness of modern medicine is ludacris.

Kim is stupid for even attempting to verbally spar with Bette Midler. Bette Midler will have Kim for breakfast and pick her teeth with Kim's spine.

Because you didn’t have eleven sister-wives to help you?

Berger has 4 kids and sexts with teenagers he meets on the internet.

Why do women hate this show now? I don’t get it. It wasn’t perfect but it was funny and I find it hard to believe that people didn’t learn at least one valuable thing from it when in their early 20s.

...running to Pilates in between facialist and hair appointments, getting salads and vodka delivered.

You know, most kids use their fake IDs to buy beer.

agree but then pee on him and smother him with a pillow

fuuuuuuuck no

Um..

THEIR CATS' BEDROOMS

Can “Send Anna on a Thing” be a regular feature pls