I wish she could have had a chat with France Bean Cobain. Despite not having a real parent around while she was growing up, she's managed alright.

Yeah, but Dr. Moreau had an island, too.

Sexy Chupacabra is a great band name.

Kitten is all "yes, yes my minions!" And then realizes there is a minion uprising and he is greatly outnumbered.

That kitten is definitely going to eat a duck. Just give it time.

I prefer to live with myself. I don't need a piece of paper to define my relationship.

church officials were always suspicious of Kidman because her father was psychologist.

I didn't want to say it publicly but you're the one I'm worried about, Kate.

Dear New York,

Large, uncut male seeks same. I'm new to NYC and just looking for someone who understands me, has an insatiable appetite for coitus, and likes to cuddle afterwards. Hit me up on Tinder :)

The ingredients for that sex bark cost over $100. Does Gwyneth show up in person to fuck me?

Really? I could have sworn my Precious Moments bible had that exact picture...

Sorority Industrial Complex would be a kickass band name.

because its not vandalism, it's all in good fun.

That tweet that Katie Cassidy was piggybacking? That was not just from some guy. That was from Stephen Amell, star of Arrow (the show she's on where she's badly miscast but the rest of it is perfect), and example of male physical perfection:

Ugh, reminds me of when men say I'm "biased" in an argument about women's rights. Yeah, I am biased. They're my fucking rights. What makes you neutral, dude?

Sometimes I feel that people like this go into a place LOOKING to make a federal case out of some small slight. All that agita over a seating arrangement and on top of it they had a $50 Groupon. They weren't going to be good customers anyway. The repugnant and repeated use of "retarded" as an insult makes me think…

I was 5 in DC with a single dad at the time. I wandered around quite a bit.

Ladies, I cannot stress enough how important a nice, tight casing is for your kielbasa. And if you aren't using the mustards I recommended, I will stop you and apply them myself.

I love how at the People's Choice Awards Dax tried to make the conversation about Kristen being up for an award than just about the baby. K.B. has a special place in my heart and I like that Dax seems to be worthy of her.