I was going to say Hemingway. She would have sounded exactly like him if she'd talked more about drinks and ended up fucking Miguela.

I know I was like AWESOME!

Isha, are you a fellow Coloradoan?

Wait, wait, wait, hold the phone, Wiz Khalifa is only 27? God, I hate being reminded of how many people are my age or younger that are astronomically more successful than me.

Ben McKenzie has had a pretty good career post-OC. This cements my belief that Ryan was clearly better than Seth. Seth was fun, but Ryan made my teenage heart all a flutter.

Tyler Perry is having a kid.

This is just misogyny of a different kind - women are delicate, inactive indoorsy flowers, so if they are bruised it is because they are being beaten, not through their own agency. We pity abuse victims, rather than knowing their strength for the same reasons.

Is it possible for some of our readers to get vegan nothing burgers? I don't want them to feel like we're not being sensitive to their needs.

I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE SOUND OF ME GOBBLING DOWN ALL THESE NOTHING BURGERS.

Last year, my sis got the shit kicked out of her by her (thankfully now ex) bf and she had job interview to go to her and called me to help cover up her black eye. Thank fucking god for Bobbi Brown and MAC concealer. I had to mix a peach tone corrector to take out the blue, (that I have anyway bc I naturally have…

When I first read about this, that was the first thing that occurred to me. But then the second was last year's "fat girl" clips from the reigning queen, and I remembered that the only thing Miss America can't be is slutty. Mean is totally fine, though.

If ABC had reached out, they would have known that since the story ran, we've learned more, and that things are still developing on our end. It would have been a tougher interview.

Seeing as everything I own is covered in chocolate stains, ink stains and black cat hair, I think I'll wait for the Limited's inevitable collection inspired by How To Get Away With Murder. As a professor / messy klutz I think it will be a more achievable level of aspirational.

I shall name him Bob.

HE HAS A TINY LITTLE NOTHING OF A TAIL OMG

As soon as I clicked on this headline, I thought to myself "why the FUCK did I just click on that? I really don't care. At all."

I didn't know this. I was so confused when they told me how far along I was because I knew I got pregnant on Valentine's Day. My husband wasn't even in the country until the day before, so when the doctor started counting from Feb. 8th, I was freaking out.

It was that front-hug at the airport. Jim Bob was right. He totally sullied her. It is the road to sin.

I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO LIFT WITH MY LEGS! Of course that is how a male lift coach would have me do it.

I feel the same way. He seems like he'd pick you up at the airport, even when your flight is four hours late and it's the middle of the night and he's in charge of the kids' carpool tomorrow morning.