Did you know that Big and Aiden hang out in real life? As frequently as 2 years ago they drank the night away and picked up girls at a Los Angeles bar I used to work at.

I used to love watching this show on our Vizio, while relaxing on the La-Z-Boy and eating Doritos (Cool Ranch flavor).

Yeah, that's right. I'm like the Carrie Bradshaw of middle America, bitches.

Aidan was the ultimate Nice Guy.

::gasps and clutches pearls::

This brings me SO much joy. The show was flawed, of course, but I still love it. (Notice I stopped at the show, because as far as I'm concerned, the movies do not exist.)

The door is open - the cat is in there making it like a hamster wheel.

The door's open, so it was probably a half second, shared in gif form for an eternity.

Dude. She has said he was autistic, but she healed him; she has said he was not autistic, but an "indigo child"; and she has said he actually had Landau-Kleffner syndrome.

Wait, now Jenny McCarthy's kid is autistic again? He is the only kid with the seasonal autism in the world. SMH.

I warn you that I will take my cues from my cat, and ululate the song of my people at the top of my lungs beginning at 4:30 a.m. until such time as I am fed.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone at that lovely ass."

I've decided this means cheap Chinese food is good for me. Because SCIENCE.

I have a very special request. Can we limit mentions of any Kardashians in Dirt Bags to one per?

"Thousands of women like Misty suffer every day, living in homes without detachable shower heads. Without suitable home appliances to substitute for a proper sex toy, women like Misty are forced to rely on their own hands for sexual release, often resulting in wrist sprains and sore arms. Won't you please help Misty…

"With your generous gift of just 29 cents a day you can help someone like Misty release endorphins, curl toes, wash away tension, and in some persons, eliminate migraines, mitigate certain lady-specific symptoms, and generally make the world we live in a better place. Call now, operators are standing by"

Not every photo is a 'selfie'. It does not appear that she took this photo herself, therefore it would just be a photo.

So I'm a female scientist with an insulin pump, I'm very comfortable with my body as attached to that insulin pump, and I'm not big into beauty pageants. I don't like the ways our culture tells girls that the only thing they can do that's valuable is be pretty. However, it's still important and valuable to support…

I once had a yam hammer in my pork honk. My life has not yet returned to normal.

I've never seen an episode of this show out of my respect for my crush on Jon Cryer as Duckie in Pretty in Pink. Why couldn't he Spader? Why can't we all just Spader?

I promise you that during the next two days, I'm going to shout "QUIT BEING SUCH A YAM HAMMER" at more than one of my co-workers.