Assuming she grows up, that is. Justin and Caleb now have plenty of incentive to make sure that doesn't happen.

Good luck with the rest of fatherhood, buddy.

You always take me so seriously :(. <—— Sad face in case it needs to be explained. I tease, it's how I show affection. No, I don't think you're seriously missing out on things a flyover state has to offer (although, we have some delicious things).

Whaaaaaa. On what planet is Taco Bell better than Baja Fresh? Nope nope nope. At least at Baja Fresh they actually prepare/cook stuff from ingredients you can see (from the counter). Their meat isn't suspect. Baja Fresh all the way. By sheer default of not serving McDonald's grade meat.

COME TAKE BALLET CLASS WITH ME ELIZABETH MOSS! It's very exciting! Today there was a film crew shooting an Under Armour commercial with Misty Copeland in my ballet technique class. Pff, New York life.

He lost his right to the second amendment when he had a restraining order filed against him for domestic abuse. This murder was, believe it or not, breaking the law by having a gun.

She also said she might have stepped on the cat's tail which could have provoked her.

#Notallcats

Imma let you finish, but the original attack cat had the best family 911 call ever. I love the transcription.

I also like that she somehow thinks that Styrofoam is better for the environment than recycled paper.

I give this article 1 star out of 5. The text of the reviews is too small to read on my phone.

There's a lot to be worried about when a loved one is an emergency responder. But now I'll add this to the list. Especially since my loved one is the special kind of loony who'd take hold of a venomous snake and just be like, "Hey, buddy. You get a little lost? You're probably just hungry." FOR YOUR BUTT, HE IS…

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO LIVE IN THAT KIND OF FEAR, YARRBLES!!! JOIN MY CAUSE #TOILETSNAKEFREEAMERICA

Hey hey hey, Alabama was finally mentioned without doing something racist, sexist, or Darwin Award-worthy stupid! *applauds*