I'll start us off: I'm sure Apple programmers would love to try pussy. I hear its more realistic than fleshlights.

Just a reminder: Apple also refuses to recognize when you're typing the word "vagina" into your iPhone.

Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, and Brian.

Logistical question- suppose two people are already married. Can they simply add the dog to the marriage or do they have to divorce and all 3 get married at the same time? Asking for a friend.

I'm so excited for Poly with a Collie to be my favorite sitcom next year!

I wish these Fox commentators would stop talking about their personal fantasies on air.

I was going to say... if she's supposed to be 7 months pregnant in those photos.... I'm 17 months pregnant.

"The main element of it is that it's about storytelling, and it's about living a very one-of-a-kind, curated life, and how to achieve that." This is literally, and grammatically, nonsense. Famous ladies, please stop with the "lifestyle" brands. Please please please. Just STAHP.

And, she couldn't leave her dog at home because...?

Lifestyle companies are like grad school for actresses: an oasis from the world when your career is not going quite how you imagined it.

How do you spend thirteen hours inside a Wal-Mart? What do you do for all that time? You can't spend it shopping can you? I can barely spend a half-hour in a Wal-Mart without losing the will to live.

1. I love odd celeb couplings as much as the next guy, but in light of his stints in rehab, I'm kind of weirdly worried about Zac Efron. They look absolutely blotto in those photos.

"sacks on a stick that cartoon vagrants carry" - you're looking for: Bindle. Yes, I know. I haz problem. Luv werds.

I don't understand why celebrities feel the need to teach us how to cook quinoa, it's on the freaking package.

It was both a torture and a murder chamber. The rental description probably referred to it as a multi-use space.

Heh - I like this paragraph from the original:

I'd like to know about any deceased on the premises. Only because I once saw a documentary about a family who bought a house that was built over a cemetery, and they had ghosts coming through the TV and skeletons popping up in the pool whenever it rained heavily. I vaguely recall that one of their trees was haunted…

In my opinion, yes. Probably not if someone was deceased, but I would like to know if a violent crime happened on the premises. That's why I ask.

I approve of this if two things are true:

They expect people to not share appetizers? Isn't that what appetizers are for?!