You know the thing that’s best about my day? YOU ENTERED MY LIFE. I’m going to go to sleep tonight thinking of you with a huge smile on my face. You’re awesome.

Awww. I love you too. Not the horse thing though really—don’t you know people have died from that?

I hope you die in 2017. I have a dream for a better world.

Yeah ok.

Maybe you could try, uh...I don’t know...excercising? It helps not matter how tall or short you are.

Seriously. By my recollection though not a single person on the planet died in 2012.

Get over it man. Seriously. People get older and they die. Global mass celebrity basically started in the 50s and 60s, so you’re going to see LOT of it. It’s just demographics.

That’s probably the most ignorant comment I’m going to read on the Internet today, and I’m about to go hit reddit for a seven hour session.

Seriously. I’m pretty sure that’s how Bill Gates got his start.

Well t(-.-t) that all makes sense now. Without the illustration, I had NO idea what you were talking about.

In general, when they ask me to do this I start screaming “Oh god oh god oh god we’re all going to die!” at the top of my lungs. It’s funny as all hell.

In general, when they ask me to do this I start screaming “Oh god oh god oh god we’re all going to die!” at the top of my lungs. It’s funny as all hell.

Does your entire career consist of re-writing articles from other publications as single paragraphs? Do you get paid for this?

Well hell—there’s a leak from a site called hardsextube.com? That seems like it would be such a reputable well run business.

You tell me.

Most of the world eats horse meat.

That’s some pretty solid stereotyping there, Herr Trump.

Sure, but two things:

So Disney is pulling a WB and creating a version six months or so down the road that will screw over the folks who buy it at first release.

I disagree. Back in the 80s I literally had a gun pointed at my head by a shopkeeper who wanted me to buy one of those suction cup Garfields that you put on the back of your car. I hated that thing—probably should have chosen death given how life is going.