I think Cruise’s stunt work is a lot more difficult than being a Method-acting nutcase. Also, Adrien Brody? Could have picked someone with a more underwhelming career?

The first movie used corporate sabotage, the generally faulty nature of cutting-edge technology, corporate interests pushing aside safety for the sake of money, human hubris, and a hurricane to set the dinosaurs free.

But if you’d rather watch a movie about idiots getting innocent people killed exclusively through…

6. Park goers decided that dinosaurs aren’t awesome enough.

STUPID KIDS: Ahhh, our nanny just got eaten by two dinosaurs* at once! Where’s Aunt Bryce Dallas Howard?

Oh, let me count the ways:

You know, I want to argue with you because I love dinosaurs and I love seeing them on the big screen, but you’re right: the movie sucked.

Jurassic World was fun in a way that more than compensated for its flaws—it wasn’t smart, but it wasn’t too stupid.

Since I never like to miss an opportunity to shit on Jurassic World: It sucked.

“Hackers Threaten to Expose 40 Million Cheating AshleyMadison Users”

I was kinda hoping swimming pool was a euphemism for something.

Satire is fortunately protected

Maybe because parody is recognized as fair use?

Me too. I thought, “press conference and spousal murder? Busy day.”

How do we know that this wasn’t her plan all along? “Wrong turn,” my foot. Who goes around with eight pounds of fruit in their car? And their son knew they were going to visit him for Mother’s Day. They disappear and no alarms are being sent up? They didn’t have a phone? No one passed them on the road? It’s not like…

I originally read this as she survived but also killed her husband. O.o

Or, you know, a freakin pen and paper. You might just learn some long forgotten pen skills.

I get your sentiment, but when I see an Indie startup spend a ton of money on the building and space it’s hard not to be concerned at how priorities will work. I grew up in the Silicon Valley through multiple booms. When your startup has magazine worthy interior before they make any money, you should worry as an…

It seemed pretty clear that that was where they were going with it too… the bleeding effect, and all. A final game set in New York, where Desmond could shift between modern and historic (and/or maybe pre-historic!?) New York on a whim to solve an eons-old mystery… that would have been amazing.

NOTE THE IRONY OF A CAT-PARASITE-INFESTED TOXOPLASMA ZOMBIE REFERRING TO A BOLD TRUTH-TELLER AS A “SHITHEAD”

In turn, this kids movie is about how awful it is that they won’t be kids forever.