I like how the writer cautions that at this point we have only the intern's side of the story and that all details are uncorroborated ... and then continues to take the entire story at face value.

@lollilove: The Fox News folk don't like her? I haven't heard this, do tell!

@Super_Kitten: What's wrong with Hermione, again...?

@footnotegirl: Nothing is interesting unless it takes place in the US, amirite?

@Hiroine Protagonist: Ye gods...

@Ipomoea: I just assume it is a very skinny, leggy baby.

That's the face I'd be making in that dress, too. Thing looks itchy as hell.

@yearthirtyone: I always figured Katy Perry escaped from the same top-secret manic pixie dream girl laboratory where Zooey was created and has been wreaking havoc ever since. Sort of like Sabertooth to Deschanel's Wolverine.

Everything is a rip-off.

@JL: That's not the structure of Harry Potter at all ... ?

@Splitskies: Me too.

@ronniedobbs: Jamie Foxx has always struck me as the grown-up version of that kid in high school who yells out random shit to get attention.

@pssshwhatever: Reminds me of Mac and his "glamour muscles."

@Love Monkey: Of course they are. Toothy Tile's gotta put food on the table just like everyone else.

@jumpingpiglet: You are literally the first person I have ever encountered, online or off, who watches Two and a Half Men. I feel like I've discovered a unicorn.

I think people are taking this article a little too seriously.

I'm still not 100% convinced that Chris Evans and Chris Pine aren't the same person.

@DarlingGirl: Of course they were.

@beezelbubbles: It's unclear, at first the article says they're remaking the Schwarzenegger movie, then that it's just another adaptation of the short story. I really hope it's the latter.

So what are the odds she'll make it to November alive? I say this in all seriousness.