Hitting .420 over the course of a regular season while only driving in 69 runs shall henceforth be known as “Hitting for the Gronk”

Give Leonard his due. Every good poster needs an enthusiastic contest.

Bank of America destroyed this country in 2008

In honor of Hamilton Nolan’s incredibly niche focus on blogger unionization, Deadspin is pleased to announce the following new sub-blogs:

The way I’m reading it is they’re basically paying for the draft picks because they have cap space.

The 14 stunned birds were later quoted as saying “They were so good at the beginning of the season, what the fuck happened?!”

I actually have a solution. Birds could stop flying full speed into walls like idiots!

I agree that it’s not fair. But it sure is fun!

Do you need a hug?

Yes, let us reject those who only recently decided to agree with us. They are not the true believers of ‘woke’ but blasphemers in sheep’s clothing! I say we ridicule them for now agreeing and therefore discourage them from taking part. How dare they only agree with us now and not before!

Blocked, banned, and reported

And I bet your daughter has a unicorn and a dodo for pets, right?

Her opponent later admitted that it was the longest he ever lasted with a girl.

What kind of monster plays backyard ball without his father

Remember, the guy who came up with this “clever” contract is the one who gets to keep his job and control over the roster while yet another coach gets pushed out of the airlock.

You’d think a guy named Crowder could deal with extra personnel around.

*Wet The Beak Ponzi Scheme Awareness Boca Raton Bowl

Prudent of publications to not buy and publish the photos. Publishing images of people in bed without their consent has bankrupted publications before.

NOT GOING TO BE PLAYING IN NEBRASKA THEN BOYS. SHOULDA CHECKED THAT EGO AT THE DOOR.

Yeah, they’re always trying to blame things on you, like things in your blood. Whatever. You know you can still play.