This wonderland is closed for construction since someone died on the ferris wheel.

I thought your bodies were a wonderland. Wonderlands?

Thanks to this article I finally got around to looking up the etymology of "bangs" as that Americanism never made sense. Comes from "bang-off" a short cut of a horses tail.

Oh honey no.

This lined up way too well...

I often get gigs so early that buses aren't even running at that point so I have to walk 20 minutes to the Q and it's just like ARGH KILL ME PLEASE. Who devised this useless fucking system?

I was hoping a black person would do this instead, but I'll give it a shot! (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.) "Boo" is originally black slang, so it's a little racist to try to incorporate black slang into your speech when you're a white person talking to black people. (Like, "Oh, I bet he'll be more…

We did a round of shots and smoked a joint with the party faithful around a camp fire at 3am, went upstairs to our suite, took the dress off, and went for about 2 hours in the 8 foot bed.

We were too tired and our friends had gathered at a local sushi bar....so we went there and had a great time. We skipped the hotel, too and stayed in the guest room at my mom's place where we held the wedding and where we'd stayed prior to it. At the end of the day (literally) we just wanted to be where we were…

Include me and my husband in the 'WAY too tired' category. We had a really nice outdoor wedding at his dad's place, which had a pool. It was a beautiful day and the party just went on and on even after the official reception was over.

There is nothing I find more disconcerting than the feeling of a powerful jet of water on my taint.