ok ok, so we have regular merkins and eyebrow merkins. would this be considered a merkin? bangs merkin?

This reminds me of my abusive ex in a weird way, you know, making sure you never leave, manipulating and threatening you so you're never independent in any sort of way, forcing people to make decisions they don't like for fear of retribution...

Can someone register SandwichSecrets.com or something and start listing benign information about Jimmy John's?

For some reason, all I could think is "We're forming a Veruca Salt tribute band."

These are on Kindle Unlimited and I now know what I'm doing for the rest of my afternoon.

No, Karen, tell me a-fucking-gain about Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang.

Stacey 5ever.

I always read the Little Sisters books even though I hated how Karen explained how divorce worked during chapter two of every. single. book. WE GET IT. Your family is special.

Perhaps this is a dumb question, but couldn't they just quarantine the dog and run blood tests on in periodically to see if it is actually infected? Surely a vet would be able to determine if this dog is any sort of threat, doctors work on test animals with Ebola all the time. This seems like it could even be…

Now I understand why Dennis and Sweet Dee turned out the way they did.

I just think Beyonce is so overrated, can someone explain to me what the big deal is?

LOLJK she is my paragon.

For every "why do conservatives in the US ________?" question, the answer is pretty much the same:

Let's not drag the beautiful majesty of bedazzled denim and gold bathroom fixtures into this.

According to Mama CaptainBromerica, who was there that night, they did it right after intermission and before the orchestra starting playing and were all paying customers. (Since apparently people are saying they snuck in?? Okay, STL. Okay.) She says they were very nice and it was a very moving experience.

A part of me hoped against hope that they would maybe be a multi ethnic group of friends rather than a real estate stock photo.

I don't know, it's a legitimate point they've got there.

Twilight sucks.

I'm an Old. I met my now-husband ago through an ad I ran in the local arts and entertainment freebie. It was a, shall we say provocative ad, so it got printed extra large in the middle of the page and was read on the radio repeatedly for a week (I was a little embarrassed about running the ad at all, so this didn't…