“So there I was just minding my own business, walking around dumping gasoline all over town, as one does, when a couple days later I heard the town burned down. Literally, just came out of nowhere! And now I’m worried that next time I go to the station and make my weekly purchase of gasonline (in the canister, where…

My father, John McCain, would be so super upset about this. He, John McCain that is, who was my father, would totally not agree with these statements, being that he was John McCain, my father.

John McCain is looking up at this and just shaking his head.

This video reminds me to go hug my sons.....

To be fair, cycling in a crosswind is more of an Aert than a Science. 

Round up all Republicans children and fucking send them there.

At what point do we accept that this guy is who he is, which is Ted Cruz?

I went to a twitter feud the other night, and a hockey app broke out.

My sister swam in high school and regularly competed against two swimmers who would go on to medal in the Olympics. Watching those meets was hilarious, especially since my sister swam the 500. There would be like five lanes of normal high school swimmers, then one seemingly turbo-charged mermaid ahead of them by like…

Came here for this.

In short, Democrats are the Washington Generals of politics.

If you criticize Pelosi you get labeled ageist, sexist, a concern troll, etc etc

So you’re saying he kept a pedo file?

Caitlyn Jenner looks awesome~

I’ve never noticed the “u” in there before.

At the very end of the clip you hear the announcer say “He’s whacked it back in place” which is also what I envision the imaginary color commentator say after I finish masturbating.

Look, you can have your spouse as a partner in your criminal conspiracy OR you can fuck around on them. Not both.

Exhibit A for why I never played in the minors 

Big hit to Santa Anita. Hollendorfer’s horses were the glue that held that place together.