Well it was brilliant, no doubt about it.  

“The box.  You opened it, WE CAME.”

Was your nickname Mugsy Bogues?

Shut it down folks.  This just won the internet at least for the next month.

I honestly don’t get that. I’m 5'5" and have never once felt the need to lie or fake my height. I’m short. So fucking what? You just accept who you are, it’s no big deal. Besides, I look around and rarely see any tall old people.

That is literally one of my all time favorite movie scenes. “Comb the desert!”

we have a winner.

Why in the hell is there a completely unrelated picture of the Clemente Bridge in Pittsburgh at the top of this article?!

Yep.  NOBODY uses the word “coon” by accident, unless it’s about and ACTUAL raccoon.

Pointing out that your an asshole doesn’t make him a dick.  it was just a fact.

Yes. If you can’t talk to your kid about swearing (which are honestly just words, you fucking twit), then you are a shitty parent.  As for your other point, it wasn’t even about “decorum and professionalism.”  It was trying to place equal blame where there is none.  Because you are an asshole.

Get a new friend.  Ain’t no way I would volunteer to hang with someone that absurd.

I bet Woo pee’d on those rugs.

My guess would be he died from auto-erotic asphyxiation while jerking off to video footage of Hitler speeches and firehoses turned on black folks in the South. But then I remembered that is Stephen Miller’s future death scene.

Call of the week right here. I would hope the Ark would melt everyone in this administration though. And you know they’d have to look. Especially Donald Don’t-look-directly-at-the-eclipse Trump.

At this point, I’d be 100% in favor of putting every single cop in this country onto barges and shoving them out to sea to fend for themselves.  

Yep.  Seems about right.

Based on number 2 and number 5, I can tell you are an asshole.  Spending billions and billions on a useless boondoggle across the southern border that would take decades to complete should absolutely be a nonstarter.  The Democrats in the House are the only goddamn adults in the room at this point.  As for #5, if you…

Fuck your children and your pathetic pearl clutching.  

Ding, ding, ding!  We have a winner!