Weasel Words have been commonly used by disingenuous cowards long before Trump darkened our lives.

Couple of tricks to get someone to move their car when it’s parked outside of your home everyday.

The NFL Did a Deal with Jameis Winston, Won’t Do a Deal with Colin Kaepernick

It’s the Donald Trump of foods: A slurry of old asshole on the inside and an unhealthy day-glo nightmare on the outside.

I’m gonna pay for Nintendo's online service... Splatoon 2 is my favorite shooter at the moment and it's cheaper than a year of PSN or Live.

Wow, out of all of these I’ve only played braid, and that was on the PC. Usually I score a little higher on the list.

So what the fuck is the individual citizen to do? I’ve lived beneath the poverty line most of my goddamn life and I’ve barely enough resources to support my family. I live in AK (a Red state) so I know that my phone call to Murkowski was just a waste and the only thing I’m doing when I argue with my Red neighbors is…

Sidewalks for regular walkin’, not for fancy walkin’.

The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt did a story line where NFL teams all changed their names to controversial topics to goose merchandise sales by people burning jerseys to protest.

My favorite was “The Seattle Oatmeal Raisin Cookies You Thought Were Chocolate Chip”

I love raisins, they’re sweet, they’re healthy, they stick together so I can eat an entire box in one bite, and you get to pretend like you’re mercy killing elderly grapes! In so many ways they are a perfect little snack, but if I take a bite out of what I think is a chocolate chip cookie and realize that it’s…

I imagine her giving the “Y’know, the Jews had pieces of flair” speech from Office Space with absolute seriousness.

Have you ever been in a bathroom used only be a woman, let alone one with multiple women? They’re fucking disaster zones.

Hot Take / Unwanted advice:

it’s several words put together asking for a response

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

You seem very hung up on craft beers - tell me how they hurt you...

The animal is fine. It’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be like this never happened.

Shaq says Barkley can save energy by hitting Green a quarter as hard unlimited times, so he never uses a full punch.

i cant’ think of a joke but he raped an chick and crashed his bike