If you can't Dodge it, Ram it.

Reads first 5 words "I Crashed a Vintage BMW" Oh No!

Dad

Monaco + Indy 500 + Coca-Cola 600 = Least productive day of the year.

Not necessarily a great story, but my first day at my job in the UK involved a 4 hour health and safety 'tour' of the building, because the big green signs everywhere marking the fire exits weren't obvious enough. We also had a health and safety audit, during which time a bunch of neo-nazis patrolled the building and…

Doesn't everyone with 2 first names have a lot of money?

Duh. A Land Rover should be leaking oil at all times. If it's not, well, you need to add oil.

Are you ok David you seem upset

I'm Raphael Orlove, and this is Jackass I just learned how bolt patterns work.

I AM HERE TO TEAR YOUR WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT APART

there were more, but they snap oversteered off the Autobahn into a tree

Wow...that was a narrow Escape!

*rim shot*

Fun to drive! An Accord Hybrid! Before you demand my Jalop card and order me into emergency rear-engined air-cooled therapy to restore my sanity, hear me out.

Man if there is one thing that works everytime, its a government mandate to sell a certain thing even if the market doesn't want it...

"That's weird. I thought the only interior color for the Fiesta ST seats was black." - The second owner.

He was just demonstrating how to properly say the car's name... "I-BENT-a-DOOR"

"How are we doing?"

"If you're goin hard enough left you'll find yourself turnin right"