I saw a man, whom I assume was homeless given his attire and, well, the nature of what he was doing, jerking off and peeing on the same train one night on my way home. The moral of the story:

These "best" and "most" lists are just the worst. Like "The Most Beautiful People In The World." You mean to tell me the 50-100 most beautiful people in THE WORLD, the muhhfuckin WORLD, are almost all white and live in Los Angeles, with a few stepping out in New York? Bitch puh-leez.

So are we just not gonna discuss the elephant(s) in the room? And by elephants I mean titties. She's got some warlocks in that shirt. #nomnom

As if there was ever a debate, Kim K's boobs clearly are the fakest of the fake. Anyone with real boobs knows those warlocks flop down to the side when you're flat on your back, they don't point north like compasses. #iaintgotnotitties

Along these lines, can we eradicate the phrase "gay married/marriage?" I just heard it recently on tv, a couple is getting "gay married." There's nothing special about it, it's just fucking married. If shit happens, there won't be a gay divorce, a gay separation, gay annulment, irreconcilable gay differences, golden…

Bitch get off my tip.

You're hall of fame gay. Like for reals.

Explain to me how exactly collegiate athletes like Napier and this guy go to bed hungry, but all magically have sleeve tattoos? #hungerlames

Words of wisdom out of fucking nowhere: You can trust a man with a little poo in the back of his undies. You cannot trust a man with poo stains in the back AND front. Briskly walk away.

*a form of

And by the way, suck my ass. How dare you steal my internet thunder with your humble logic and shit.

Theoretically, couldn't breast implants be considered a form "shaming" themselves? ie, "I don't like the way my body looks, I'm somewhat ashamed of it, so I'll have a medical procedure so I'm hopefully not so ashamed anymore." Just sayin.....

Ugh. Breast implants are the worst. Remember when women looked normal and didn't have what appears to be two tennis balls so close yet so far away for tits? I mean my tits are real small but at least they're real. And small. #c'estlavie

"Boston resident here" is easily the worst fucking start to a sentence ever. Don't ever do that again.

Derp? It's you?!!I've been looking for you forever! You tiptoed out of my apt with my buttplug still in. Feel free to keep it, as I'm sure it's pretty shitty now, as are the Cubs.

The Cubs suck dick and always will. Go Sox. White. Not red.

People do not hate Iggy Azalea. People hate the fact that the "music" she makes and are forced to hear if they dare turn on the radio makes their ears throw up.

Of course they do. Where do you think we get the Honey Boo Boo's of the world?

As a non-white minority, watching white people, aka the majority, back peddle and/or defend (in this case) something historically attributed to them that they themselves created, because it's probably wrong (racist/hateful), like the Confederate flag, makes my titty-balls tingle just a bit. I love when my titty-balls…

I love how white people get all up in arms when someone brings up the Confederate flag. #NotAllWhitePeople