I’m just complex.

Well, I’m hard.

I’m not even sure why we measure time in seconds anymore. A base unit of Tom Brady Son Kisses is way more logical.

That little chuckle before “and then I just shot it” is the most hurtful thing that’s ever been uttered by one NBA player about another.

That baby is an unholy mixture of Brady, Belichik and Kraft’s DNA implanted in a surrogate in an attempt to breed the Football Kwisatz Haderach.

a simple sign of love from the patrician-but-tacky old man who brings a stuffed Tom Brady toy when he visits twice a year.

Before a lot of rumors get started, I just want to go on the record and say that I also did not recently father a child with a woman half my age.

Dude, Joey took a full shot to the face from Odor and barely flinched.

How did he break his ankles? Was it when harden pushed off?

Posting snuff gifs is an interesting editorial decision.

A shirtless Gronk, covered in body glitter, stands atop a Cancun balcony, staring off in the distance, as he finishes his Bud Light Lime, and mutters “Yo soy fiesta.” It is only there, above the crashing of the waves that he realizes he has no idea who he has been saying yo to, all these years.

He should have walked off the field after career TD #69 and never came back. He owed it to himself.

Rob Gronkowski has been in the NFL since 2010—he is now 4 generations removed from the porn stars of his rookie season. You have to consider how difficult this is on him both mentally and physically.

Unfortunately Gronk’s about 29 years too late to retire and prevent permanent brain damage.

Hmmm.... a young player who is still physically healthy and less than a year removed from being the consensus number 1 pick in a good draft, or a tiny 30 year old whose game relied entirely upon quickness and athleticism who has suffered a debilitating and chronic injury that robbed him of that athleticism at an age…

Well the Titanic had that orchestra, but I hear the BBQ on the Hindenburg was pretty lit.

I like to take the lobsters to a quiet and serene place and tell them about the farm we will have together and the rabbits they will get to pet and then when they are in the happy place I dispatch them