Only 600 pounds?

If Netflix aired football I would have no reason to pay for cable.

People, learn from this.

Plus, his pizzas taste like circles of garbage.

Plus, his pizzas taste like circles of garbage.

My grammar school (catholic) was 3 levels, so there were a lot of stairs involved, especially when you got into the upper grades (6th-8th) and started changing classes. My buddies and I were hockey nuts (growing up in NJ in the late 80’s) and in between classes if we passed each other in the halls, stairs, parking…

I was the last of my group of friends to turn 18, so we blew it up hard on my birthday. Cigars, the casino, lots of booze purchased for us by an older sibling. It was awesome. I received a lot of fun presents, and some were gag gifts. Specifically, a friend of mine bought me a BDSM sex-toy set that consisted of…

I drew a dick in white-out on a girl named Brittany’s dark blue, monogrammed backpack in 7th grade (using the B as the balls and drawing the shaft out to the left behind it, of course) and got suspended for three weeks. My dad made me mow the lawn every single day because he didn’t know how else to punish me. It was a…

Somewhere, a Florida land developer fondly recalls the time he tortured Mark Brunell’s bank accounts to death.

“Coach Tomsula, what’s the street value of that unicorn poo?”

This halftime show will be the perfect chance to test the “what if everybody watching went to the toilet and flushed at the same time” problem.

I don’t hate Coldplay but don’t like them either. Trouble is a good song.

The rogue guildhall should have just been Ravenholdt in Alterac Mountains, lol.

You see, the problem is the fact that they’re not full-time NFL employees. On Tuesday, most go back to their regular jobs as pharmaceutical test subjects or guys who shoot birds at the airport.

I thought that this is what they used in Wisconsin for that.

“You die of dysentery in Sheboygan.”

Your team is hosting the #21 Northwestern Wildcats in a crucial late-season game. You’re understandably pumped and there’s snow on the ground. You should throw a snowball! But no Northwestern fans are in range. Should you throw it at the nearby cheerleaders?

This movie has aged better than my exes. Hi-yo!

It’s Week 11 coming up, everybody is dealing with different things. That’s the NFL. You get a routine, learn how to take care of your body and push through things.