Goddamnit if your baby comes out at 4 pounds or under you need to take that baby to the hospital you dumb shits

Our President is a rude dick.

I have two kids. I love my kids.

Funny how the Jays now have started this kind of shit with the Rangers, Orioles, Yankees, and now the Braves...yet the story always seems to be the ‘fault of’ Odor/Machado/Severino and never the Jays themselves.

Sounds like the turtle had quite the shell-shock of his life...

I donated my old commons/uncommons/shit rares en masse after I sold my collection to the local comic store during a Friday Night Magic. Haven’t seen that many mindlessly happy unwashed people since the last time I volunteered at a soup kitchen.

The house where I grew up was pretty new - way newer than any of the other houses on the block. A typical one-story ranch house that you might see in any stretch of American suburbia. Likewise, all the furniture in the house was pretty par for the course. My room had a little-kid bed, a nightstand, a table and chairs…

Thank you Florida for making Texas look good.

Toronto fans are trash.

wow, congratulations you made it to the ALCS, your face of the franchise still got that face smashed in, and neither team won the World Series so Id say the Rangers won

20 Minutes. My rapist took only about 15. That was >40 years ago, and I’ve never forgotten. These rapists think they are blameless. It only took 20 minutes, why is the rest of my life in ruins. BECAUSE THE REST OF MINE IS RUINED. POS

When Oakland and Washington are the only two dissenters, it’s pretty much a a guarantee that you’ve made the correct decision.

Nice to see that an umpire actually tried to defuse the situation rather than make himself the center of attention.

This is my favorite thing in sports.

This is all fine and good but Ranger baseball doesn't officially start until Elvis screws with Adrian while he's trying to catch a pop up during a live play.

Jeter.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.