The weekend series against the Rays will be played at the Trop...

Fuck St. Louis.

Bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid.

I speak from experience, you cannot out-weird the inventor of the Twinkie wiener dog sandwich. You merely can hope to keep pace.

I thought about changing a couple of the details to [possibly] keep my anonymity on here, but fuck it. If this person reads this, hi there old friend!

This probably does not count, but when I was 19, my mother rejected a marriage proposal on my behalf.

Back in my single days there were a few instances in which a guy would say things like "God, I want to marry you!!" Or "Let's get married!!"

Sorry guys. The early 90's already invented them:

...and here I thought the penis mightier!

Taylor of Old Bond Street Sandalwood Shaving Cream. I just started back in June using a double edged straight razor and it's the best decision I ever made.. Closest shave I've ever given myself..

Taylor of Old Bond Street Sandalwood Shaving Cream. I just started back in June using a double edged straight razor…

I know, she's fabulous, right? :)

Jesus, can they just fuck and get it over with?

Its no news that band members are horny and depraved:

"I used to be an All-Star outfielder like you, then I took an arrow in the knee."

The TV gods are not in controll here, only one man is......

My mother and I LIVE for Love It or List It! I basically have to throw the TV out every time I watch it, though, because they always decide to Love their goddamned too tiny house! Lady, you have four children in a three bedroom house with an unfinished basement and David has shown you an amazing 5-bedroom turn key…