It’s not about “authentic Mexican food.” It’s about the price. I live in New York City, which people often obnoxiously say has “the best pizza in the country.” But Dominos still thrives here. You know why? Because it’s cheap. That makes perfect sense to me.

But it isn’t “relatively inexpensive”. It’s actually pretty fucking expensive. And that’s the thing I don’t get. Places like Pizza Hut, Dominos, etc. are incredibly cheap, so even if you don’t think they’re “good,” their success makes perfect sense to me. You get a burrito at Chipotle and throw guacamole on it, and…

Honestly, what is it I’m not getting about Chipotle? I understand why it succeeds in places with few (if any) Mexican restaurants, but the fact that it does so well in a place like California, where you can get food from real Mexican restaurants that is much cheaper and significantly better, blows my mind.

Set aside for a moment the fact that he’s an abhorrent human being. Imagine how corny you have to be to sit down and type, in all caps, “GAME ON, PLANNED PARENTHOOD!!!”

Safe travels, Alan. You shall be avenged.

Safe travels, Alan. You shall be avenged.

Did anyone ever think that Howie Long would have kids who are fun? Seriously, how did this happen?

It really can’t be overstated how incredible this is:

How does one team manage to end up with the two corniest quarterbacks in the league not named Russell Wilson?

Creed was the best seventh installment in a film series that came out in 2015.

Everyone involved with this game - the officials, the fans, the coaches, the commentators - was fucking terrible and embarrassing. Two different assistant coaches got into confrontations with players. One assistant coach tried to pull a player down by his dreads and then twisted his arm. Joey Porter and Adam Jones…

What Burfict did was nuts and needed to be penalized, but am I the only one who doesn’t think what Jones did deserved a flag?

If you were on the fence about whether or not you were going to keep watching football, that game just drove you away for good.

This is kind of like how so many white people swear that Killer Mike is new. That cat has been on albums in three different decades, but people swear he’s new to the game.

This is always exaggerated. He was terrible at throwing out base runners, but outside of that he was a perfectly competent catcher who actually called a really good game.

Honest question: Do you think Mickey Mantle and Hank Aaron should be in the Hall of Fame? Mantle used steroids, and Aaron used amphetamines.

If Griffey’s plaque features him wearing his hat backward, I’ll take back (almost) every bad thing I ever said about the Hall of Fame.

“This bitch has control problems,” said the man who discusses his custody issues on Twitter.

I have almost the exact same story, except I did it in my dorm room instead of when I went home. And like you, it’s the proudest moment of my gaming career.

I’m glad someone else brought that up. I laughed so fucking hard. He was so mad! Who gets mad about that???