I was expecting "don't let your bottom get thor, use Charmin."

Umm... how could you miss this one by Amber Tamblyn, who MADE OUT with Lynda Carter last night on national television?

Now I'm just picturing him and Chris Hemsworth sexting each other.

As a staunchly heterosexual male, I want to be in a 3some with Hiddleston and Kat Dennings.

Oh hey Justin, doing some graffiti, huh? Whacha got there? Is that... what?

oh get over yourself Melanie... no one cares about your OPINIONS.

Been there, done that. My parents luckily told the school to fuck right the hell off. Have we made NO PROGRESS in some places since freakin 1997?

Part of me tho, would be SO tempted. Can you imagine hiring him for some incredibly liberal wedding? Or or or hiring him for a gay wedding but not telling him that til day of? God, I'd consider throwing a faux wedding designed to hit every single one of his buttons, if I lived closer...

Sometimes I wish I were stronger of mind and spirit because this is really fucking upsetting.

If his date is supposed to be the kind of woman that knows her station and stays at home to cook and clean, how is she supposed to have money to pay for their date? So confused.

First of all, that apology is written at a level I would consider to be well below collegiate — more like a 6th grade book report level. How could he think he'd be able to present your article as his voice? But secondly:

"You are far more determined then have ever been in my whole life."

His reasoning that he plagiarized your work is that he had exams that same week? Really? We've all been there. No matter whether it was high school or college or graduate school, we've all been there, and yet most of us are able to get by without plagiarizing the work of someone else. I once had four papers and two…

"My name is Ms. Stewart, not Ms. Dodai."

“When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.”

So does this green light for bad taste mean that Jezebel will approve when I combine a sport coat, shades, cigarette, leotard and two balls of socks to create my "Joe Cameltoe" outfit?

I'm going to pretend this is the world's largest en masse lesbian wedding, and you can't stop me.

I... need to go call my dad.

Why? It's not like it says "Only men look more at your body than your face". It's still true.