instead of saying "wet" or "moist" which are not only disgusting but sort of inaccurate now thanks to the stupid pill I'm on, I say "hot." Such and such "really gets me hot." I think that's retro enough to be laid back but not so contrived as to be pretentious. Also, Dan Savage has gotten me into the phrase "turns…

I don't know what you're talking about, farting during sex is hilarious. I totally farted during sex a couple weeks ago and cracked myself up. I also apologized to my boyfriend, but at this point we fart around each other enough for it to only cause laughter, not shame. Once we were squatting down to get a very hot…

When my mom isn't ignoring me or interrupting me, she manages not to remind me that I weigh more than her, though she does give me disapproving looks while I eat. Thanks, mom!

@msAnthrope: I was the one who posted that quote, which I found on Wikipedia. Every once in a while I'm tempted to try it, usually when drunk, but just can't get over the possibility of peeing all over myself and/or the floor. Maybe next time I'll jump in the shower and try it there.

@ae38: I would like to know the name of this former child actress, so that I might look her up on iMDb. Care to share it with us?

Not so true where I work. The first person to really keep the M&M tray full was my manager, a 250+ pound lady. When one of my coworkers started becoming borderline diabetic, I started policing his M&M intake (he started sneaking them behind my back at one point). We've since moved on to dove chocolates (milk and dark)…

@Titania: And put your tongue back in your mouth.

@swinechimp: Bitch, please. Who wasn't?

I hate hate hate the model for these clothes, but some part of me really adores the clothes themselves, even though I will never buy or wear them, because I will look like a damned fool. Unless BiscuitDoughJones is right, in which case I would apparently rock the orange items.

A male friend and I pored over these pics yesterday and both determined that a) Ginger spice looks pretty great, if a little granola, Sporty wins most improved (I'd forgotten how dyke-y she was before) and Posh is some kind of Fembot insect alien monster. Also, she has bad tits. We split on Ginger's hair, as I will…

Yeah, I'm feeling like this is better as a DIY project than anything else. If I wanted 3.5% alcohol water I could either a)make some with the 200 proof ethanol and DI water tap at work or b) add a little vodka and maybe a squeeze of lemon to a bottle of Fiji water. Done!

I'm with socalsnarkstress, calling bullshit on #6. Braless jiggle does not equal "classy," so this bitch has no idea what she's talking about. Either go with your nipples poking out or be classy, but you can't do both.

I wouldn't be even a little surprised if that can was filled with vodka.

@lovelyday: Ha! Stabby Nachos! One of my favorite inventions by the Fug girls was that name.

@ChildfreeChick: Here's another reason not to get knocked up - the pill (and every other effective form of birth control on the planet, including the IUD) is less lethal than getting pregnant.

I haven't done any research, but I can think of one luxury-minded Jewish woman I know who will probably stop shopping at Barney's now. She really hates Arabs.

When I took a lifeguarding class back in high school we were taught that a good lifeguard can save anyone, regardless of relative sizes. I, 115 pounds at the time, "rescued" a 250 pound male classmate quite easily. You use your buoyancy in the water to your advantage.

Yeah, thank you for tearing them apart for being too stupid to interview a terminally-ill woman in politics and not discuss anything but what color her fucking sandals are. I knew there was a reason I stopped reading fashion magazines.

Oh! And in 19-century Japan women peed standing up, using urinals. This was accomplished by tugging up on the vulva to direct the urethra outward, not downward. ([en.wikipedia.org] , scroll down to "male and female urinals")

@Jeff4President: Ha, where on Sherman? I grew up a half block from Sherman, and know the whole length of it by heart.