aack, I can't spell. "celebutards," is what that should say. Guess I'm my own kind of 'tard, eh?

I thought the standard gawker convention was "celbutards" not "celebretards," or is it a matter of personal preference?

Maybe it's just because I'm on the declining side of a cold, but do you seriously not know the reverse cowgirl position? Poor thing, you really ought to saddle up some time.

My boyfriend and I discovered that we both have sex dreams that don't really involve anybody but ourselves. He often has dreams of self-fellation, which I can't really blame him for. And I often have sex dreams where the guy's penis is detachable, and I go and do myself with it, sans boy. Seriously. So I may have a…

@nyobserver: He also has that look of earnest and eager-to-please lover about him, which is sexier than a flat stomach, for sure.

Color me redneck, but I can't tell which way is supposed to be the front. My guess is that the tie thingy goes in the back, but when she wears it to the front her breasts get better coverage. It looks a lot like something I would have made out of a thrift store prom dress when I was in high school. I would have made…

As someone who has, in the past, had to wear scrubs daily, I can attest to the lack of flattering cuts and not-ugly patterns. The department I work in doesn't have a standard-issue scrub color, so it's on us to buy what we want in whatever color we want, but wearing blue, pink, green, gray, black over and over again…

I actually stopped being able to breathe for a while after I saw that second picture. It's so horrifying (not just the foot, but the dildo they're using on it is gross, too) I couldn't even figure out what to do with it, and stopped functioning as a human being. Total system overload.

I had an immediate "YAY!" reaction when I found out she was going back to jail, then when I saw this I immediately felt terrible for about 1/4 second, then decided that she's really getting off quite easy for all the reprehensible shit she's done consequence-free. Payback's a bitch, sweetie!

@stacyinbean: I used that scrubbing bubbles stuff to kill a cockroach in my kitchen sink. See, I didn't have roaches until my downstairs neighbor died and her apartment was smashed up to be rehabbed. Then all the roaches moved to my apartment. I came home one night and there was this enormous cockroach in the kitchen…

Tampons are, sadly, not very flushable if you have really old plumbing. That said, I admit readily to using tampons to clean my bits in a pinch. I knew someone who claimed to use coffee filters (which don't break down, so they're bad for septic systems) instead of toilet paper, so the whole thing comes full circle.

I think with the purse thing they might have been talking about personal safety, not keeping your possessions (though it was worded wrong). I've always heard that carrying a bag cross-body gives an attacker something to grab onto and, in turn, grab you. While something that slips off easily will allow you to free…

So are the sales of panty liners going to skyrocket when this stuff hits the shelves? It seems like the most logical way to deal with the (ugh) anal (ugh) leakage (ugh, I hate think about that).

@ribmyhrod: I used to have a bra, inherited from my grandmother, that made my boobs perky like that. It was the style at the time. I would wear it with the silly cocktail dresses I also inherited from Grandma, since the darts were placed somewhere near my clavicle.

That girl could pretty easily be 12 or 13, which was about the age most girls I knew started bleeding. But, good god, that belted contraption looks like a nightmare. And the pad the size of Montana doesn't help any, either. They said "panties" way too many times, though. I never liked that word.

I'm all for early-morning blow jobs (they're a great way to ensure early-evening reciprocation), but if I played this dumb sex kitten routine first I'd get laughed out of the bathroom. And, yeah, why the bathroom? Why not just dive under the covers while he's still in bed?

@hystericalredhead -

Oh, knob! Knob is a great one!

Ugh. "member" alway sounds so sleazy to me. I'd much prefer "wang." Even "unit" or "johnson" or "pizzle" (that's what they call it in Vietnam when they cut it off a goat and serve it as food) or just about anything else. Heh, tube steak.

How can anybody be surprised by this? Designers use models as inanimate objects. He has no idea that what he's saying sounds racist, he doesn't think of these women as people, but frames for his clothes. The fashion industry has no love for the female form.