“The 2017 and 2018 seasons will be part of the Flames’ transition to FBS.”

“Ok, sir, just a minute, let me look up your account. Can you spell your last name?”

You know you’re living in a golden age for names when Marmaduke Trebilcock finishes 4th.

But the EMALS!

From the sound of it, making better investment decisions than you and your wife.

I take it you were a life-long fan of Chris Berman’s wife. This must be very hard for you.

Gareon on my wayward son
For there’ll be police when you are done

Lorde! What a punch!

Poor kid, no father to prevent him from becoming a full-kit wanker.

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

30 pieces of silver

[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

He was unfamiliar with the layout of the house because the owner had put on an addition unlike any other.

This guy has yet to make it through 12 steps, let alone an entire staircase. 

Then I got hammered the next day and forgot to put it away. Ice Cream cakes are bad.

Got hammered once and woke up with this in my freezer.

Prohibition NEVER, EVER works, unless one’s aim is to aid and abet organized crime.

Apparently he didn’t see the “Leave No Wake” sign and left three.

How Infinite Grover didn’t win, enter the HoF, and get elected president all based on the strength of that name is a mystery to me

Rivers Romo!?!? That’s bad. Say it ain’t so.