“And I’ll tell you another thing,” Lynch said, “New Girl might be the best damn show on television.”

I tried

My favorite fat guy in Madden is Clarence BEEFTANK, h/t Jon Bois.

the Cuban sandwich is not from Cuba. It’s from Tampa.

This is an incorrect hot take. Cuban sandwiches are fuckin’ delicious.

When police arrived, Mason accused them of teaching Al-Qaeda to fly planes, and said he would call the White House and have them lose their jobs.

Take note, students: this is how you edit copy. +1

No. Nobody else thinks that.

Water polo is BY FAR the most boring team sport I have ever seen — and this is coming from a baseball fan. It’s basically handball without any running or jumping. Everyone waits around while a dude makes 25 pump fakes and then throws it at the goal. It either goes in or it doesn’t, and then everyone swims to the other…

Horniest team? The Swiss, you idiot.

kfc is some chump ass shit where is the damn popeye’s

That reminds me of my dad and how he’d drive his IROC-Z onto the court where I was playing youth basketball and skid that thing real close to me while I was trying to shoot a free throw. If I missed, he’d flick a cigarette at me, peel out, and I wouldn’t see him for months. If I made the shot he’d nod at me…

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

To be fair, Lochte probably doesn’t know the difference.

In related news, a camel still isn’t able to pass through the eye of a needle.

John Madden also sounds milky.

The show had its fun with it, later showing Goff in the Goodyear blimp with fellow rookie Pharoh Cooper.

From now on, whenever the Falcons are eliminated from the playoff race, the top of Mercedes-Benz Stadium should open up and push out a 1000 brown balloons.

+ 3 Reichs

Germans have a weird affinity for red and black color schemes.