When I was ~5, I proudly declared: “I have a generous portion of lips”. Any preceding reason for this announcement is lost to Cat Family lore, but my parents (and aunts, cousins, etc) will never let me live it down. Joke’s on them, people PAY for extra portions of lips!!! 

“Why would anyone ever choose to act that way, if they had a choice?”

Women and our categories of contributions should be appreciated every single day, but not daily? O_o

Exactly! I wonder what the evolution of the licorice consumer looks like. Start out eating all flavors of jellybeans without spitting away the gross ones. Only eat anise cookies. Graduate to buying Good & Plentys. Drink Jäegermeister. Buy more Good & Plentys.

LUCKY! What’s the best flavor/brand soda you’ve tried? I thought cucumber soda would be disgusting but it’s good! You can only find it at Asian markets or bougie “concept” cafe/markets around here.

*old timey voice* Evah wanted a cigah but not a whole cigah? Have a cigarette! ;)

Keeping an atomic fireball in your mouth that long without biting it = serious willpower, I am impressed! That could have been a lesson in the Karate Kid or something.

I was thinking the same re: retro/ nostalgic packaging. There is a “general store” in my hometown that sells kitsch and outdoor gear (?). Old-timey candy and soda (and regular candy /soda with “old-fashioned” packaging—savvy!) takes up an entire back corner of the top floor and people of all ages LOVE it. They punch…

The first thing I thought when I saw that was why the hell were people eating Old People Candy in the 50s when they could’ve been eating delicious butterfingers!? For that matter, how is anyone alive today still like “Ribbon candy and Starlight Mints, what a treat.”

Fresh Dots are a thing!!! Those are the good ones!I need to see if my local Walgreens has any of the fresh Dot harvest up for sale...

The names are so great! I picture some old-timey, coked-up ad men like “We call all the little ones ‘ette’. That’s like half our work done right there work. More than that cause most of em is little right? 90%. What’s this? Fruit? Fruit-ette. Chocolate? Chocolate-ette. No. Choco-lette. Licorice? Licor-ette. Mint?…

They are rubber pellets disguised as candy. If my family was kidnapped and I had to save them by determining if a Jujyfruit/bee was from 1947 or 2017? I’d end up yelling “How could ANYONE know!” while sobbing and holding a fistful of my dislodged dental fillings.

Dots look pretty much the same, too.

This deserves so many more stars. Sexy BatSuit was trés controversial! How soon we forget (not me. Team #BatmenHaveNipplesToo).

Silly me, skipped one and the toxins are already clouding my memory! We’ll do those bright and early before class.

I support this theory and your nod to his and Gwen’s conscious uncoupling. I wish you many happy 25th birthdays to come!

Speaking the truth. The first coherent thought I had after a recent seizure was “goddammit I’m in an ambulance”. When my SO got to the hospital I was bitching about the “expensive nap” and could we please go HOME?

THIS!! If you ever have the terrible misfortune of being impaled or seeing someone impaled, do NOT try to dislodge the foreign object! You will almost certainly damage the surrounding tissue and vasculature further.

First thing I thought! Certainly harmless enough guy, nothing against him. But exactly how long has he been 40?!

God, what a nightmare. I am so sorry. That fucker is still trying to gaslight you and work you over; I can’t imagine the other shit he’s put you through.