If they touch my wedges I will destroy them

The sweet relish already adds the needed sugars. This why you cant drop off any ingredients that makes the chicago style garden. It’s a perfect blend of flavors.

Inside the players, they're all the same color.

I was waiting for someone to spike that softball right into the mixed metaphor.

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

Brown being an asshole does not make the Raiders competent.

Sisters in law? Oh wait, you meant that as a rhetorical question.

Mmmmmm Barbacoa.  

Forget it, Jake; it’s Florida Woman.

Feel free to get pedantic about other penalties I failed to mention in the comments.

Since you asked, Leonard Floyd also got called for a bullshit personal foul for legally tackling someone earlier in the game.

Gronk confidently telling a neuroscientist that CTE can be fixed is strong evidence that Gronk’s CTE has not, in fact, been fixed.

Kind of shocked by this.

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

Winning one game is a pretty low bar you’ve set. 

Genius!

He’s the hero we need.

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

He’s one mouthful away from being a zit like John Blutarsky.

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…