“We reached out to Curt’s friends, MAGAgirl07898714 and PepeNotRazist8761412, and they told us via DM...”

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

When did this guy become so aggrieved? Somewhere between idolized baseball play to shitty business person he became a real jackass, and I just don’t understand the transformation. Totally jobbed the state out of money, left it paying a tab, and he’s the victim?

Can they give it to me in gummy form?

It’s like this in the marketing department at work.

it depends on the country you live in. here in the USA they give out prescriptions for testosterone to middle-aged men like it’s candy.

Are PED’s legal for non-athletes? I ask because it takes me four and a half minutes to walk the dog to the end of the block and back for her to piss. If I could cut that down to an even three I wouldn’t have to pause the DVR during commercials.

New Orleans is probably my favorite city in the entire world. There’s really nowhere else like it. 

my favorite memory about NOLA was on the trip from the airport down to the french quarter and my driver said:

Anyone who lives in Las Vegas and judges a tourist should be punched in the face. Tourists are the only reason that city exists.

I think you did a damn good job with your first tour, and the lack of alcohol probably helped. Being that I’m beyond the binge/blackout phase of consumption myself, the other tourist charms I’ve found to be musts that keep me coming back:

I weirdly needed this Jamboroo right now. I went to New Orleans for the first time the weekend before last (for work) and immediately realized that, with my dislike of humidity, crowds, loud noise, and seafood, it was gonna be maybe not the party paradise I hoped for. But I went to a Mardi Gras float factory and ate…

What, no bread pudding or other desserts?

SPOILER ALERT: Mysterio is Mysterio

Good lord. At what point would Deadspin consider creating a tag “NOT INJURIES” for football-related stories?

“Funny — no one cared when he was on the Steelers!”

Also tens of thousands of Pats fans. Folks here assume that any negative news about the team is just jealousy. It’s ... pretty awful.

“Whatever, haters, you’re just mad because he’s on the Patriots!”