Ichiro?

This is so incredibly frustrating.

“Obama destroyed the sky! Terrible color, very ugly, “poor taste.” From this day forward the sky will be gold.”

Barack should have signed an order proclaiming the sky blue just to see if Don would undo it.

Jesus, Donald. Don’t be a bitch just because you were told your boyfriend couldn’t come.

For some of the Peralta Community College students, this might have been their only chance to get A’s.

The Coliseum is so charmless that it makes New Comiskey Park Guaranteed Rate Field look like it’s in the Shire. I was impressed how hideous it is.

I’m not big on gold chains and pendants, but this intrigues me. Is there one where the pizza is whole? I do not have 7 friends.

You’re doing the Lord’s work, sir. Thank you for saving us all 9 minutes of our (increasingly futile) lives.

Whoa, this pizza video sounds awesome!

My own suspicion is that most people calling chain pizza “garbage” couldn’t distinguish it from pizza of the same type from whatever local joint they prefer in a true blind taste test.

I mean, no offense, but if I see a 9-minute *porn* clip I’m like “nah, too long.” Nine minutes of pizza-eating-and-ranking video is about 8:57 too long.

Comeon, don’t make me watch the stupid video, just give me the results so I can tell you how wrong you all are.

You know they make umbrellas, right?

More like ‘not’ stove.....amirite!?

Host: And now we have Cooper from Jacksonville, how’s it going Cooper?

McAdoo is a finalist for the Wade Phillips Cup, the trophy given out to the NFL coach who looks the most like the assistant manager of a tire store.

Here in Gainesville it’s always the “I don’t want to get too down on these players because after all they are still kids” opener, before getting reallllly down on those players, because fuck them for not making Cletus feel good about himself.

“Our next caller is Andrew from Tennessee. What’s on your mind, Andrew?”

Come on, we all know there’s only one place to go for pizza in NY