Point of order: nearly everything is still terrible.

That’s the wrong kind of ‘Jalopnik bump’, you fools!

When did you last see that optimal Depp?

This is a good point. Why am I finding out about it at the exact same time I am getting the slightly disappointing news about it being Depped?

It’ll be shitter with Depp on board. He has developed the reverse Midas touch, and a film like this will just let him indulge his Deppier tendencies (although to be fair, he was dressed like a normal human man and not wildly overacting or going through a repertoire of tics and grimaces in The Tourist, and that was stil…

Why in the hell damns do American sports teams get to hold cities to ransom? How can you possibly be in a situation where cities are expected to fund hundreds of millions for stadia for teams that are rolling in money and their super rich owners?

Does that make it a Riiiidge Racer?

I am mildly sad that I cannot buy this for my friend

You are the one guilty of counter-revisionism, Magary! Nowadays it is universally agreed* that Jedi is a bit iffy and Empire is the best film.

This is great, thanks Archeville.

I say Witch Hunter, but I am in no way qualified to give advice.

watching this right now, so good!

The Crazies was the one with Timothy Oliphant? There was nothing wrong with that film; good, solid decently-paced B movie. Sounds like I should watch this Witch Hunter film.

kill it with fire

Is it bad that when I read Maggiore had died of AIDS-related illness I said “good”? Risking your own childrens’ health because of your woo bullshit is inexcusable.

somebody better start negotiating with Simon Cowell then, I suppose.

Per the above, you’re aware that the dog gets agitated by people entering your apartment uninvited, therefore it’s a little iffy - maybe get a chain for your door to protect idiots from themselves.

It was poor, but it’s a bit like the dancing bear quote - the wonder is not how well it dances, but the fact it dances at all.

Wasn’t a very good header, but on the other hand well done Theo Walcott, you did a header.

You’re right, and Daley is probably a slightly better choice at centre back than his dad these days.