The 13 fans in attendance were stoked.

Hey Mike first time long time. Just wanted to get your thoughts on the Giants turning to an out of the box candidate at head coach next season. I think Jason Giambi would be a great addition and really fix the Giants’ offense. I’ll hang up and listen.

Needs “Getting Hit by a Jet” somewhere in there, per Deadspin’s styling guidelines.

The game was in Denver. Why didn’t they show video of the double doink before Pineiro kicked

Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

Y'know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored.

Glad to see you’re keeping current of the scientific discoveries.

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

Broncos. Tonight. 10:20 PM EDT. Oakland. Be there, or don’t. At this point, what difference does it make?

No, but I sure as hell would pay good money to watch him try

You know how they name diseases after famous people that had them? (ALS is “Lou Gehrig’s disease.” I’m pretty sure AIDS is named after Tom AIDS, the guy who had sex with that monkey.)

“Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, ‘I have a good team.’”

The Raiders Have No Idea What To Do With Antonio Brown

Proposing a ballot measure that if Miami goes 0-16 no member of the 1972 Dolphins can ever drink another drop of champagne. 

Bitchin’!

Technically correct is the best kind of correct.