Skins Skin Head Hog’s Head, Find Beef

I ate three slices of pizza and drank a sugar-free Red Bull. I nearly threw up twice during the game, but I got shots up and hit six threes.

Dismiss *KINJA USER* Croissant, it’s just an impotent racist troll.

According to baseball’s unwritten rules, Bauer now has to throw at himself in his next appearance

But if everyone is walking around you for 20 years telling you what a great guy you are and how great a job you are doing, you will never see your mistakes.

Pitaro was hoisted by his own Le Batard.

Free Chris Paul

I’ll mark you down for a 2 on that one.

In my defense, Fletcher Cox takes up the whole damn sidewalk.

Robots can never match human umpires in the key skills of holding grudges and feuding.

He’s eligible for a bigger max after 10 years in the league. He’s currently at 8. There’s no way he was signing anything other than a 2+1 no matter what team he signed with. 

This guy sure does get tired of his team quickly. Bored man gets paid indeed.

Female Uber driver showed up. Caused the whole avalanche. Butterfly effect, man.

Soccer Kobe, then.

Twas a bad day to be orange. 

I’m pretty sure a third-place, South American, soccer match is the last place the president will show up.

Hopefully it’s CML and not something more aggressive like ALL, but hey, everyone reading this, go to https://join.bethematch.org and join the Be The Match registry. One potential treatment for leukemia(s) is a hematopoietic stem cell transplant from a healthy matching donor, and matches are far rarer than blood type…

Ah, yes, it always makes me feel better, safer, and more moral to fall back on the “hope he’s up to Henry Kissinger standards” bromide.

I can’t believe you blackballed Colin Kaepernick from this comment.

If only his father had worn a dickhat.